fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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