Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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