hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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