i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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