Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
