Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize