So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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