she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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