When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
