I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
40s are totally the cure
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
