I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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