I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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