RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
