she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
