So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
