Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
