so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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