so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
