I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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