After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
