so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
