they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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