Is it normal to miss your booty call?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
