apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
