don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize