doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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