There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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