...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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