Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
