He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
