i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
