Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
