worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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