Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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