p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize