You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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