You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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