I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
