you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize