Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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