we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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