1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
