spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
