watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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