just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and she was petting her beer can
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
