"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
