Don't you send me to vm
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
