We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
