it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize