yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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