Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my sisters under your porch take her home
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
