But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
