Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He better not be in your backpack
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Randomize
