I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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