Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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