i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
