Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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