she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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