I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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