Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
