Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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