matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
This is my gift to your gina
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize