I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
