I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
