You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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