I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize