Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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