does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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