if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize